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THIS INTERVIEW WAS DONE AT ARTIFICIAL PEACE'S PRACTICE PLACE AND IN ATTENDANCE WERE THE WHOLE BAND:
ERIC: Introduce yourself, left to right.
BRIAN: Mark, er....Brian.
MARK: Brian, er...Mark.
BRIAN: Whoops--hey, you fucked up.
ERIC: When did you start and how did you meet?
MARK: The punk rock gigolo (laughs).
BRIAN: I was in Minor Threat.
MARK: You were?
JOHN: Yeah, we decided to give him a chance...
STABB: Who's Minor Threat?
ERIC: When did you start?
MARK: Ah... No, it was a long history.
STABB: Yeah, the first...The Stab.
PETE: We played Sex Pistols covers.
STABB: And Clash.
MARK: And Pete's song "Realize" which was a good song.
STABB: And Clash.
MARK: And Rezillos.
STABB: Stuff like "Stepping Stone."
BRIAN: "I wanna be Your Dog."
MARK: And a Yardbirds cover.
ERIC: When did you guys become the GIs?
STABB: We were searching for a name.
MARK: Well, see that band (the Stab) never really broke up.
BRIAN: Then there was the Mohawks.
MARK: Listen...Never practiced for about a zillion years--so one time he (Stabb) gives me a call and said, "Remember how we liked the fast music and John Berger and my brother hated it? I found this other guitarist that likes fast stuff too and we have a gig at DC Space (Unheard Music Festival) in 3 days" or something like that.
STABB: He (Mark) said, "NO--I can't make it, I've got school."
JOHN: Cuz Andrew called me up and says this guy um...
STABB: Yeah, he (Andrew) was the substitute drummer for DC Space and he couldn't even play--we were going on stage trying to teach him drumbeats.
BRIAN: Then you had Richard Moore--ex-Untouchables drummer playing.
JOHN: But what happened was that he (Andrew) called me up and asked if somebody wanted to play guitar, so I went over to practice--then we played DC Space.
ERIC: How did it come off?
JOHN: Really well--it was one of our best...
STABB: They did a video of it.
JOHN: We were one of the few bands there with any type of cohesion (laughs). And Minor Threat was blown off the stage (laughs).
STABB: I had a semi-mohawk.
MARK: Safety mohawk (laughs).
BRIAN: We called him a mohawk because John had a brown and yellow and white and black mohawk--it looked like a fish.
MARK: Then after that--
STABB: I bit an alligator's head off on stage (Brian giggles).
JOHN: He broke his baby chair during practice.
MARK: NO--wait, there is a complex history. No--listen, originally Andrew was going to play bass.
STABB: Then we found Brian Gay (original bassist).
MARK: Brian Gay--I knew him from school; he was going to be our second guitarist.
STABB: Rock-a-billy Gay.
MARK: Then after that show, Andrew kind of quit.
JOHN: We quit him.
STABB: No, he started writing lyrics for Young Caucasians--the Honkeys.
MARK: Andrew left us.
MARK: Then we were normal GIs.
STABB: With Brian Gay.
BRIAN: That's not me.
ERIC: Where do you get your ideas for your songs?
MARK: That's his department (pointing towards Stabb).
STABB: They're mostly written about trendy Georgetowners (hip part of Washington, DC).
JOHN: I usually take Rolling Stones licks, copy them off the record (laughs).
STABB: Pat Boone is my biggest influence.
BRIAN: My biggest influence is Otter (laughs).
STABB: Otter--no, it's woodchuck.
BRIAN: Oh, sorry--brown monkey (laughs).
ERIC: What do you think of the other local bands past and present?
STABB: I've never heard of that band before.
BRIAN: Ho-Ho-Ho--Red C was lousy. No Red C was the best (laughs).
STABB: Yeah, they were.
BRIAN: The best.
MARK: 'cuz they had the punk rock gigolo.
ERIC: How many shows have you done?
STABB: We played our big gig.
MARK: That was the only one that matters.
STABB: This was God's school (John Barry) and we almost got him kicked out.
MARK: Let me explain the full details...John used to be in a band that played "Sunshine of My Love" (laughs).
JOHN: No, we used to play "Rappers Delight."
STABB: No, they did 10 hr. reggae versions of "My Girl" (laughs).
MARK: Then they kicked John out--he was playing guitar for about 5 months?
JOHN: Less than that--I don't know--I couldn't play the chords.
MARK: He couldn't learn "Rappers Delight" so John was kicked out of the band.
MARK: Then it was St. Valentine's Day or near it and St. Anselms is having a Saint Valentine dance.
STABB: Be my bondage valentine.
MARK: There was this band--whatever they were called--And they got us to play for ten minutes at the end.
STABB: No, we were supposed to play 15.
MARK: So, we started playing and, needless to say, they pulled the power out on us.
STABB: They didn't like the sexual content in the lyrics.
MARK: And there all these Monks standing around and they were giving us dirty looks.
STABB: But we were the only band that people danced to at all; little preppies got out there and got their asses kicked; there was a sacrifice on the floor (laughs).
JOHN: He was one of our first fans.
MARK: Then, the wrestling team... came up after they pulled the plug on us because I kept on playing, so finally the wrestling team surrounded my drum set and made me stop.
STABB: Nazi youths came over and took away Mark's sticks (laughs) "You can't play."
MARK: So after that--then we were leaving, we couldn't get out of the parking lot 'cuz there were cars in the way and noone knew whose they were, so they actually lifted the cars so that we could leave.
MARK: They did a school newspaper story on the show.
STABB: They tried to kick him (John Barry) out of school.
MARK: They did a diagram on how punks dance--they tried to frame John up on drug charges and all that bullshit. They did--didn't they John?
STABB: They said he was a known homosexual.
MARK: No, seriously--they did try to say he was a big drug dealer--they wanted to get him kicked out of school 'cuz all this equipment got wrecked.
STABB: Yeah, what happened was that they cut out the power in the middle of the set--I started yelling and this fucking asshole kept fucking with people all night--like we got him to play Teen Idles but he was too stupid and played it at 45 (mimicks). And like every-time he'd say something like "OK we're going to play some Sex Pistols," he'd play fucking Beatles and I'd yell "You faggot" and then like when they cut off our power, he says, "No one wants to hear your punk rock shit, this GI shit!"
MARK: He said "Why don't you guys leave? Everyone hates you anyway."
STABB: And I was in a furious frenzy and I punched him in the balls (laughs), then he goes, "errh!! Why did you do that?" Anyway, they had this big disk jockey set-up and the guy who was the dj, this stupid little kid who would say, "Come on, why don't you people dance? (laughs) Come on, I've only got five songs, 'Hungry Heart', Blondie--everything--You people won't dance, why did you come here? Come on, why don't you dance?" then they were all going off--everybody in the school were shocked and abused and so like ah...they were saying all this shit and I threw a... everybody started throwing bottles at the dj next to the stereo equipment so I threw a tape case at the dj and clocked him on the head and he hit the turntable and he went off and said, "Oh Shit." Then we walked out--we said, "Alright, We'll fucking leave" and a priest was standing at the doorway and I said "Get out of my way rubberneck." OK... You really know when you're wanted when someone picks up a car to let you out (laughs).
ERIC: How are things working out with your new bass player (Brian Baker)?
MARK: It would be great if we'd practice.
STABB: We got this homo from an established band. We're supposed to open up for LOST (TSOL).
ERIC: Bunch of people are thinking of wearing LOST on their shirts when TSOL play.
BRIAN: Including me.
STABB: This is total bullshit.
BRIAN: No, it's not--they're New Romantic shit and I hate them.
MARK: You love them.
ERIC: What do you think of the DC scene as it is?
STABB: OK--it started out really good; everybody was having a good time and all and now people are becoming little babies and fighting.
JOHN: I think it is pretty good myself.
STABB: It started out real good.
MARK: Once Red C broke up.
ERIC: How well is your EP, "Legless Bull" selling?
STABB: Sold pretty good, so far, like it has been sold all over the place, but we got to get more in the stores.
ERIC: Are you getting good responses from it?
STABB: Yeah--WHFS gives us lots of airplay--Milo likes us, he likes our beats.
BRIAN: Yeah, once I heard the whole EP on the radio.
ERIC: What's this sneak preview idea of Janelle's last party?
BRIAN: It wasn't mine.
JOHN: It wasn't mine.
MARK: Not my idea.
BRIAN: I wonder whose it was, John (Stabb)?
STABB: The idea was to break in our new songs and the new bassist.
ERIC: Yeah. I thought you guys came off really well, especially "Teenager in a Box."
ERIC: Shows are getting so fucking hard to get, why do you think so?
STABB: Too much homo rock.
BRIAN: Too many people decide to break up the bathrooms and go out front and say "Wooh! am I fucked up--Wow!"
STABB: Also, people won't buy drinks. Bunch of Assholes come to see a big freak show (slamming and the "pit") "Let's get drunk, watch them Punk Rockers. Where is the pit?"
BRIAN: "Are there any snakes?"
STABB: "I heard about this pit...Yeah, Gonna slam tonight." Redneck assholes. "Got my chaw--spit on them."
ERIC: Anyone you want to say hi to?
ERIC: Closing comments? (silence)
STABB: Don't eat stuff off the sidewalk.
BRIAN: Go see Deadline.
ERIC: That's true.
STABB: Great band.
BRIAN: No matter who they're playing with, go see them.
ERIC: Any post scripts?
STABB: No, I got post cards.
MARK: What's post scripts?
BRIAN: I got to go home now.
ERIC: Messages of love?
BRIAN: I'm leaving my bass here.
STABB: I just want to get buttfucked 'cuz I'm lost.
MARK: We'd like to say thanks to Pete for letting us practice here.
STABB: Thanks Pete.
BRIAN: Thank you.
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