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Having missed the elusive 1984 Naked Raygun shows in Los Angeles, we once again eagerly awaited the West Coast leg of their most recent world tour. Imagine our disappointment as Naked Raygun produced an almost lifeless, limp, Los Angeles outing. "Pretty pathetic," we all thought, "Is this all that these chumps have to offer?"

Then, sporting an extremely rare optimistic outlook, Thomas, Brian, and Joy trekked up to the Gilman Street warehouse in Berkeley in hopes of seeing the REAL Naked Raygun. What they found there impressed them...oh, did it impress them, for it was like a different band. This band was full of energy, vim, vigor, etc., etc. They certainly left us all in a tizzy, gasping for air, reluctant to go back south to our droll, paltry lives. But we did. At least we still have the memories, and no one can take that from us.

But before the show, we interviewed the band members: Jeff (vocals and occasional guitar); John (guitar); Eric (drums); Pierre (bass); and Willy (roadie and munitions). The following is the result of said interview...

naked raygun

ID: Your brother (referring to Pierre Kezdy) is in the Effigies.
PIERRE: Yup, that's right. Absolutely. He's the singer. He's actually the driving force behind the Effigies, as it were.
ID: And they are back together?
PIERRE: They are back together. They've got the original guitar player, Earl Letiecq.
ID: Why weren't you ever in that band?
PIERRE: Actually a long time ago, a very long time ago, I did play with my brother. The first band he or I was ever in. We never did anything. He thought I was a horrible bass player, which was true in fact, so he kicked me out. The first band that he started was with the bass player Paul, who was in the Effigies. I can't remember the name of it, it was so long ago. Oh, the Corrosives, and of course that failed miserably. Well, what happened was that they kicked Earl out for doing too many drugs or something. Then they got a new guitar player, who was a real wimp, I don't know why they got him. It just sort of went down hill from there. But then my brother and Earl started back up with John's brother, Joe, the drummer from Bloodsport, and they got him and Chris Bjorkland form Bloodsport, and they're playing drums and bass now. I don't know if they'll be doing much but they are still playing. We're going to be doing a third of July concert with them in Chicago, actually.
ID: Well, I guess that's enough of the Effigies.
ERIC: It was just getting interesting.
ID: That's right, and we don't want it to be interesting. You (Pierre) were wearing a Government Issue shirt the other night.
PIERRE: I was wearing a Government Issue shirt.
JEFF: 'Cause John Stabb is on it, that's why.
ID: Yeah, John Stabb's so cute.
JEFF: Imagine having John Stabb on your chest.
ERIC: No, just John Stabb literally, maybe.
ID: Just tape him on there, huh? Have you guys ever done a Government Issue song?
JEFF: No. (Jeff sings something about being stuck in a van). They rolled their van in England, so I'm singing "John Stabb in a Van".
ID: Really. Did they get hurt?
ALL: Yeah.
PIERRE: Their drummer got badly hurt. He has a metal splint in is his leg or something like that. John and Jeff correspond frequently. Name another band.
ID: Stiff Little Fingers.
PIERRE: They're a great band. Too bad they're not together anymore.
ID: Do you do any other covers?
PIERRE: We do Buzzcocks. We've done Stranglers, Ted Nugent... You know, the whole gamut, if you will.
ID: Where did you get the "whoa, whoa's"? The "Oh's"...
JEFF: We got them on our own. People think we were influenced by the Misfits, but we're not.
PIERRE: It was way before the Misfits.
ID: It seems like you have more than them. More than most bands.
ERIC: More "Oh's" than Cheerios.
ID: That's right.
JEFF: We just can't think of any words.
ID: You have a lot of words.
JEFF: It would be easy to put "whoas" in every song, but they'd have to be really good "whoas."
ID: Have you ever done a video?
PIERRE: Actually, we tried to do a video once, but it failed miserably. It's like trying to write lyrics.
ID: Yeah, that's what I was getting to. In the last interview you were doing, you were talking about how you didn't want to be too set with your lyrics. Do you think that would happen with a video?
PIERRE: Well, I don't know about lyrics, but the video thing sort of sucks pretty badly for a few reasons.
JOHN: Why?
PIERRE: Let me tell you, let me tell you.
ERIC: Pray, tell.
PIERRE: If you do a video of a live concert that's alright, that's pretty much portraying the band as it is live. You lose a bit, though. Let's face it, video is not like being there. So there is a loss there, but of course you do perhaps gain an audience by putting it on video. But if you're going to do a video like these MTV videos, to me you're just going to lose, because I believe that the visual image is stronger than the audio image. If you're just going to be watching the thing, it's going to be distracting from the song, so the song becomes secondary.
ID: One of the things that bugs me about those videos, is that it's not the bands who are doing the images. The producers arc sort of dictating what the songs are about.
PIERRE: Yeah, well that's true too. Unless you are a really good director you're not going to get exactly what you want, to begin with. It's hard enough writing a song, let alone directing a video and having it come out exactly the way you want. I just think it takes away from the music. You'd have to have a great director doing it. You'd have to have Alfred Hitchcock do Naked Raygun. That might be alright, but otherwise you're losing.
ID: Is there an official Naked Raygun diet?
pierrePIERRE: Besides beer?
ID: Besides beer and McDonalds?
ERIC: Mexican food.
PIERRE: John, Eric and Jeff are big on Mexican food.
ERIC: Just pretty much anything. We're not very picky.
PIERRE: Anything goes. Just as long as the beer is cold.
ID: What are you interested in doing with the band?
PIERRE: Well, with this new record contract that we have, we have to put out an album a year. So, I think we're going to be spending a little more time writing songs than we have before. So it is sort of good for us, because we just don't write because we don't feel like writing. When we have to write we do write.
ID: You said you were going to play on a boat with the Effigies, have you ever done any other shows that are interesting like that? Weird places...
ERIC: We almost played at rodeo one time. Actually, it was around here.
JEFF: Fresno. We did play in all four corners of a room once.
ID: Did it work?
JEFF: Yeah, it did. It was really hard to sing together.
JOHN: It was really hard to start.
JEFF: It was at Cubby Bear. It was cool, people were really confused standing in the middle.
ID: Has anyone ever attacked you on stage, or thrown something at you? Given you anything...flowers?
JEFF: No. We did cut a turkey in half on Thanksgiving, with a chainsaw.
JOHN: People are pretty cool all in all. Even when we were not so big nobody really hated us much.
ID: What kind of audience do you have in Chicago?
JOHN: It's all mixed. Pretty young, but a pretty good mix.
PIERRE: That's one thing, we do have a wide range as far as audience goes. I mean, it differs form city to city, but I think we get lots of different kinds of people, from the right wing skinheads to the left wing...A lot of people listen to us because we're not really political in any one way, but yet we still appeal to a lot of them.
ID: Do you have any compunction against playing an over twenty one club?
JOHN: No, we do quite often. Like New Years we played at Exit, which is over twenty one.
PIERRE: In Chicago, the young kids are a lot wilder and crowd up around the stage, and do wild things. The older crowd sort of resents that. They prefer to see us at an over twenty one place, so we do both. It satisfies everybody.
ID: Does it ever bother you, having all those kids crawling on your equipment and stuff?
JEFF: They don't allow that anymore in Chicago.
PIERRE: There used to be.
JEFF: There used to be a little mayhem on stage, like thirty or forty people every song.
PIERRE: I got the wind knocked out of me once in the middle of a song, which sucked pretty bad.
JEFF: I don't mind people on stage if they don't knock into the guitars.
PIERRE: As long as they don't hit me, it's fine.
JEFF: Another thing I don't like is stage diving, because people get crushed. I mean, stage diving looks really cool, and it seems to be really fun, but people have to be landed on, and I think everybody forgets that.
PIERRE: Too many broken bones. Unless the stage diving thing is really organized, and you're diving into a bunch of your friends, it's really pretty stupid.
ID: So, you guys don't stage dive?
ERIC: Never.
JOHN: Never once have I stage dived. Never in my life.
JEFF: I've always wanted to, but I'm too big. I'm afraid I'd kill somebody.
PIERRE: Most places that we go now it's outlawed. There's been too many serious accidents.
JEFF: There's a couple serious ones, like right before we played Minneapolis. At a Detroit show somebody got hurt really badly.
PIERRE: We were going to play Omaha, and the week before some guy broke his neck and got paralyzed, so the whole gig got cancelled. Stuff like that...
ID: So, if we were to go to Chicago, where should we go to see and do things?
PIERRE: The Metro's the bar, the big venue, that holds like a thousand people. Most of the big punk type bands from Europe and out of state play there. So that's probably where most of the hot gigs are. There are a couple of local bars like Exit and Dreamers where you can go every night and drink.
JEFF: Batteries Not Included is one. The first thing you should do when if you go to Chicago is pick up a free copy of the Reader. It's just like other towns' Readers, but ours' is free and it has a music section.
ERIC: Just come to my house and I'll tell you what's happening.
JEFF: Eric will tell you every single thing to do.
ERIC: I have a large empty apartment.
JOHN: It's totally void of cats. Cats were cat-napped.
JEFF: Cat burgled.
PIERRE: He had his cat stolen by his ex-girlfriend.
ID: Why did she steal the cat?
ERIC: I don't know.
PIERRE: She wants Eric's so badly...
JOHN: There's a ransom involved.
ERIC: It's grisly, let's not get into it.
ID: Do you guys all work?
PIERRE: Day jobs, yeah. That's what's sort of bad. It's sort of hard for us to tour, getting the vacations coordinated and things like that. There's only so many weeks off a year you can take.
ERIC: I'm lucky because I can take off practically anytime. I've got a really cool boss.
PIERRE: I'm pretty lucky too, I can take off.
ID: Have your parents ever seen the band?
PIERRE: Actually, John and Jeff's parents have come a few times. Jeff's parents are really into Naked Raygun.
ERIC: Jeff's mom stage dives (they all laugh).
ID: She bumps into the equipment, right, and knocks it over.
JEFF: We can't keep her offstage.
ERIC: It's really wild to see her flying off stage in her combat boots.
JEFF: Last time we played, she picked up six of her friends, who are the same age as her, and my dad, and they were all wearing Naked Raygun T-shirts.
PIERRE: A bunch of fifty year olds.
JEFF: And people were trying to buy their shirts from them.
PIERRE: For the "All Rise" record release party, Jeff's mom made tons of food. There was a big food display, it was really great.
ID: What are your parents like?
JEFF: My dad is sort of like James Bond.
ALL: Yeah.
JOHN: Yeah, he has that Bond look.
PIERRE: A really suave kind of guy.
ID: Did you guys used to play with GI Joes when you were little?
ALL: Yeah.
JOHN: I still have mine.
JEFF: I had the German guy.
JOHN: I've got two German guys, but I'm missing the helmets.
ID: Did you ever have the six-wheeled all terrain vehicle with the mummy's tomb? It had the glow-in-the-dark mummy.
JOHN: Yeah, but that was almost after my time, when they started coming out with that stuff.
JEFF: I've got the van, I've got the jeep. The underground something...
johnJOHN: Do you have the frogman guy?
JEFF: Yeah, and I've got the firefighter.
ERIC: I lost the knife like the same day I got it. The knife on the side of the guy's leg, I lost it.
JEFF: I don't have any molotov cocktails. Do you have any molotov cocktails?
JOHN: No.
JEFF: They sell those things for a hundred bucks a piece.
PIERRE: Yeah, we were at this store in New York. Yeah, a hundred bucks for these guys. That's just this guy in a uniform.
JOHN: The German hand grenade. I think I got one of those.
JEFF: The old German guy?
JOHN: I've got it all, except for the helmet, which is the coolest part.
ERIC: Do you have the cross, the iron cross?
JOHN: They don't come like that.
ERIC: Yeah they do.
JOHN: Oh, that's right, they did! No, that's long lost. Yeah, I remember crying when I lost that.
PIERRE: Tonka's, that's what I played with, I'm sorry.
JOHN: No GI Joes?
PIERRE: I did have some GI Joes, a few, but they got blown up or something very early on. We used to blow lots of things up. Willy, our roadie here, was the demolitions expert. That guy would build these incredible bombs out of kerosene and stuff. We used to blow up model tanks and boats all the time.
WILLY: I mean, after you build a plastic model, what's left? Blow it up.
ID: Sounds good.
WILLY: And it burns very nicely.
ID: Yeah, it has a nice smell, too. Even Tonkas are made out of plastic now.
PIERRE: Are they really? Jesus Christ. Plastic! Plastic trucks! Plastic dump trucks! What a ridiculous concept.
WILLY: They did a commercial where they had a little Tonka truck and a huge real truck, and they through them both off a cliff of about fifty feet. The real truck was destroyed, and the Tonka just bounced, and was fine. Plastic must be better than steel, obviously.
JEFF: I had an Elia Curiaken doll.
JOHN: Wow.
JEFF: It was about the size that GI Joes are now, and it came with this gun that actually shot a cap, a single metal cap. I had a Sergeant Rock doll, too. My mom saved every single thing. It's in this big pile in the basement.
PIERRE: My mom threw everything out.
JEFF: I have my entire beer can collection.
ID: So, you guys missed the Earthquake.
PIERRE: Actually, when I was about ten years old I was travelling with my parents up in Alaska. We were on this island called Sitka and there was this big earthquake, registered 7.4, about fifty miles away. I was scared shitless. Then they said on the radio--this island just has one tiny village on it, and they have this radio--then the radio said, "There's going to be a tsunami wave, and it's going to hit the outer islands first," which is of course where we were. They said, "It's going to wipe everything out there, so you better seek high ground." It was a nightmare.
(Sharon from Alternative Tentacles comes in to tell the band that their concert is going to be broadcast live on the radio at 9:30.)
SHARON: So, what I have to ask you is do you know the seven dirty words that you're not supposed to say over the radio?
WILLY: Wait a minute. Shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.
SHARON: That's it. Yeah.
ID: Tits shouldn't even be on the list.
JOHN: We don't have swear words in any of our songs.
SHARON: It's not necessarily that. Songs don't really make any difference because they can't pick up any of that, but it's the in-between song banter that usually goes on.
JEFF: Oh, okay. No, we don't swear.
JOHN: No problem.
ERIC: Except for that one part where you go, "Show me your tits you motherfuckin' cocksucker!" (laughs)
SHARON: Okay. My name is on the release form so if you want to get me in trouble... (she leaves).
PIERRE: Anyway, this Tsunami wave was going to hit (we all laugh) god damn it. And so the radio said. The high point on the island is the high school parking lot," right? So, of course, all the cars on the island made a B-line for this high school parking lot. We're sitting there, and of course I'm ten years old and I'm shitting in my pants thinking I'm going to die. There were these "adults" actually climbing trees. It was totally the most bizarre thing you could imagine. They were literally trying to get to the highest point on the island. They were fucking climbing trees, it was totally incredible. It was really wild and chaotic.
ID: Did it ever hit?
PIERRE: Nope, it never hit.
ERIC: Where did it go?
PIERRE: I don't know where it went.
ID: Last year there was this major earthquake out in the ocean, and all through southern California there was this warning to stay away from the beach because this giant tsunami's going to hit. So what everyone did was drive down to the beach to see it (laughter).
ERIC: Holy shit.
WILLY: There were about ten thousand surfers waiting for it.
ID: There was some guy who did that. They dropped him off from a helicopter. They showed him and he cracked up right away. He really wiped out, but I think he lived. Like the guy who skied down Mount Everest.
PIERRE: What happened to the guy on Mount Everest?
ID: He stopped fifteen feet before this huge hole, this huge crevasse.
JEFF: He had this parachute on the whole time. He just opened it up immediately. He was going down an over 45 degree angle.
JOHN: Wow, that's totally incredible.
ID: Did you visit any sites on your trip?
PIERRE: The La Brea pits.
JOHN: Las Vegas.
JEFF: I visited the La Brea Tar Pits at night.
ID: At night?
jeffJEFF: It was illegal supposedly. I was looking around for the security guards. I mean, it's not like you can't go there. It's all open anyway, but they're neat, they bubble. You guys are from there...
ID: Yeah, we came out of there.
PIERRE: We visited Circus Circus in Las Vegas. I guess that was the biggest landmark.
JEFF: We saw the Hoover Dam.
ID: Did you go down inside?
JOHN: No. It was at night again
ERIC: I did laundry today.
ID: So, what is this Motel 6 thing?
JEFF: We're not there anymore. Now we're at the Easy 8 instead.
PIERRE: All the Motel 6's in the area were booked up.
WILLY: We've moved up two numbers.
PIERRE: The doors don't lock, so we have to take everything out of the room.
ID: So, what kind of gear do you have with you this time?
PIERRE: Gear? We have the biggest, the best gear that you can possibly have.
JEFF: We do have the cow horns (on the hood).
ID: Did those go on in Chicago or...?
ALL: TEXAS.
JOHN: Genuine Texas short horns.
PIERRE: A six dollar investment...the band spares no expense when it comes to...
ERIC: I bought those.
WILLY: The beauty of using a bass string to hold it down is a big concept.
BAND: Sssshhhh.
WILLY: They knew it already.
ID: They haven't gotten stolen?
ERIC: No. People are afraid to. They think if you have those...
JOHN: ...it's a bad omen.
ERIC: It's a sign of virility.
JOHN: Whoever steals it will die.
ID: So, what's your batting average actually playing the shows you're booked for?
ALL: Good.
ERIC: Thought we were going to say something else (he laughs)?
JEFF: Yeah, the east coast tour we did we only had one show cancelled. Both times Philadelphia cancelled. So, we're never ever going to play Philadelphia. Ha, ha, hear that? They're going to have to drive to New York.
ERIC: That was a massive tour, that was like twenty five shows in thirty days, with only one gig cancelled.
PIERRE: That was pretty darn good.
ID: Do you guys watch a lot of movies or TV?
ERIC: Oh, I do.
PIERRE: I think collectively, Blade Runner is probably the band favorite.
ERIC: Yeah.
JOHN: For Sci-Fi, yeah, definitely.
PIERRE: I used to watch a lot of Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie re-runs when I was a kid.
JEFF: Eric had his first erection to I Dream of Jeannie.
ERIC: Yes that's true. I still have a hard time watching that show.
ID: They have a new I Dream of Jeannie out with a new guy playing the major. Larry Hagman wouldn't go back to that.
ERIC: Wow, she still looks good, too.
JOHN: I never heard about that. I'll watch it.
ERIC: As will I.
JOHN: It's going to stink. You know it's going to stink.
ID: Do you follow sports or hate sports?
ERIC: I really like hockey.
JOHN: Do you know what is going on in the Stanley Cup playoffs? I've been in kind of incommunicado. There's not enough cable channels at these hotels to even catch any of it.
ERIC: You have lousy TV out here.
JOHN: It's surprisingly bad on the west coast.
PIERRE: We were in LA and our motel TV got 3 channels.
ID: We get plenty of channels. How many do you get in Chicago?
JOHN: At least 15 or 20.
ID: That's about what you should have gotten in LA.
ERIC: No, we didn't.
ID: Something's wrong. Wrong hotels. Motel 6...
PIERRE: What the hell do you expect for 20 bucks a night?
JOHN: The sports they have out here are like childrens' surfing and volleyball.
PIERRE: Too much golf. Way too much golf on the TV for some reason. It takes so damned long.
JOHN: That's something I can never figure out. Even if you like golf, how can you like it on TV?
JEFF: We go and see a lot of movies, though. At least I do.
naked raygun
ID: What kind?
JEFF: Withnail and I was one of the most hilarious ones I've seen recently.
PIERRE: Oh, I saw that. It was hilarious.
JEFF: I laughed a lot. I've seen a lot of bad movies lately, too.
PIERRE: Yeah, there haven't been that many spectacular movies. The Untouchables I saw, that was really good.
JEFF: It was good, but it was not to true to life.
PIERRE: You've got to like Sean Connery, though.
ERIC: I saw Amadeus. That was hysterical.
ID: That was the last movie you saw?
ERIC: Yeah.
ID: I guess you don't go to that many movies.
PIERRE: We went and saw John Holmes porno in 3-D.
ERIC: That's right.
ID: John Holmes died.
JOHN: We had our own special memorial service back at the practice place.
ID: Do you have any advice for people who want to be in a band?
PIERRE: Yeah. Write good songs.
ERIC: Just never quit. Longevity is the secret.
PIERRE: I see a lot of bands, but I don't hear a lot of good songs. A lot of people get together in a band and let's face it, they just write crappy songs. They don't work very hard.
ID: Do you think a lot of bands now think they can just be together for a little while and achieve notoriety without...?
PIERRE: Yeah, it's easy to get up there. Especially with punk. Punk was the way that everybody could get up on stage and do their own thing, you know. So, it was really easy for a bunch of shitty musicians to get up there and not do very much. Still, whatever bands there are that are good, are at least crafty if not creative. So you have to be one or the other. A lot of people just rode the wave and got up there and played for fifty or a hundred people or whatever. I haven't heard that much great music lately, not in the last four or five years as I did in the years between '77 and '82. Or '81. There's definitely a lot of great stuff out there and then everybody else just started copying everybody else and it doesn't really mean that much anymore.
ID: It seems like more of you guys are writing songs now. Is that true?
PIERRE: Yeah, everybody's got a song on this record. On the last album, "All Rise," I joined just when all the songs, pretty much, had been written. Eric was fairly new then, too, so this is really the first album that Eric and I had a say in.
ID: Do you think it's going to stay like that?
ERIC: Yeah, it really rounds things out nicely.
PIERRE: Yeah, you get four different styles of writing. You got the same people playing them, but there's four different people writing the lyrics and the music, and it's bound to be varied. I think that's really good.
ID: How did you guys get together?
ERIC: Well, I used to go see Naked Raygun years ago.
PIERRE: Yeah, so did I. I was in a band called Strike Under, and we used to play with Naked Raygun. Actually, we first got together with them because Jeff had a PA, and the bartender at one place said, "Talk to Naked Raygun, they've got a PA." And I thought to myself, "Naked Raygun, what a shitty name." (Laughter.)
ID: Who named the band?
ERIC: None of us.
JEFF: Not me either.
ERIC: It's only when somehow you accidentally tell somebody that you're in a band that you wished you hadn't. You go, "Naked Raygun," and they go, "Who?"
JEFF: You've got to say it about five times, and they go, "Uh, never heard of you."
PIERRE: Then you inevitably say, "Fuck you." (laughter)
ID: I cannot wear this shirt without some stranger coming up to me and saying, "What does that mean?"
JOHN: See, you know, look at it, now even our shirts give people grief. (Laughter.)
PIERRE: We've got to put out a T-shirt without our name on it. I think that would be a big step, or just abbreviated "NR" or something like that. For people who know you it doesn't matter. After a while it's just the music that matters, not the band name.
ID: Who does the artwork for you?
JEFF: We have the concept, the concept is ours. We decide what we want it to look like then we get somebody to do it.
PIERRE: Actually, the "Jettison" stuff, Eric knows these two guys really well, friends from Philadelphia that do a comic fanzine called Brain Dead. They draw and do their own cartoons and whatever, Heavy Metal stuff, and we figured we were probably going to call our album "Jettison", and said, "Here are the lyrics to the song. Draw something."
JEFF: No. No.
PIERRE: What do you mean, "No"?!
JOHN: You had the concept of the guy on the ground before.
PIERRE: Well, yeah. That's what Jettison's about, right?
JEFF: Yeah, but whatever they came up with we said, "Okay, now draw a guy going really close to the ground."
PIERRE: Yeah, that's true. Sorry.
ERIC: We went through stages.
ID: You have a lot of violent images in your songs, why is that?
ERIC: We do?
ID: I think people being hit by a blade of grass at 600 miles an hour...
ALL: It's a gnat.
ID: People burning at the beach? Things like that...
JEFF: Yeah, but I think that's more like interesting than violent.
ID: It's funny?
JEFF: It is funny. It's tongue-in-cheek. You're right, to sec someone be accidentally lit on fire, or die in a fire, is different than seeing someone spontaneously combust. That would be hilarious.
(We contemplate that for a moment.)
ERIC: Seeing someone blowing their hand up with firecrackers, that could be funny if they were fucking around, you know.
JEFF: It's not that we are trying to be funny, but I don't know if violence is the right word either.
ID: Did get a look at the First Interstate building in Los Angeles? The one that burned.
JOHN: Was it hilarious?
PIERRE: I heard about that in the news. What about that marshmallow factory that blew up near Las Vegas?
ID: The one where marshmallows were going through people's windows.
JEFF: Oh, that's totally hilarious.
ERIC: People are getting flaming marshmallows flying at them. We used to do that at camp a lot, light marshmallows on fire and fling them at people with a stick.
JOHN: Personally I hate marshmallows, so I think it's hilarious.
ID: Any closing comments you want to say?
JOHN: Are we gonna be the centerfold? It'd be nice to do a centerfold for Ink Disease.
PIERRE: I can get you some good pictures of John, if you know what I mean.
JOHN: Turn ons, turn offs.
ERIC: Measurements.
ID: "Ambition: For the world to be a better place to live."
PIERRE: Yeah, your favorite book, and "peace for the world".
ERIC: There's something they always say...
JOHN: "Turn ons: A sensitive man".
ERIC: "A walk in the rain."
JOHN: They never say anything like "WILD HARD SEX".
WILLY: Or "Any millionaire I can lay my hands on."
JOHN: "Favorite music: Billy Joel..."
ID: "...Genesis", and then they always throw in some sort of classical music like Bach or Brahms.
JOHN: That's right.
ID: What game show would you like to be on?
ALL: Jeopardy.

eric

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